


Nothing Left

by Angelwithwingsoffire



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: M/M, Scerek Week 2015, Suicidal Thoughts, although it could be implied i guess, no actual suicide though, tragic tuesday, yea so this is painful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-08
Updated: 2015-05-08
Packaged: 2018-03-29 13:24:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3897949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angelwithwingsoffire/pseuds/Angelwithwingsoffire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek woke up like a shot, gasping for breath and clutching at empty air. His vision was blurry and it took him a moment to realize that it was because there were tears in his eyes. He let out a choked off sob as he looked down and realized that the thing he’d been clutching was a pillow, not Scott. It would never be Scott. Never again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nothing Left

**Author's Note:**

> Yea so I was going to write this for the Tragic Tuesday theme of this year's Scerek week but then I got sick and couldn't write so this is now a Tragic Tuesday thats actually a Tragic Thursday and it will probably hurt. Enjoy!

_Derek had never liked sleepy inside on the full moon. He liked being outside, underneath the sky with the bright stars and even brighter moon. He loved laying under the sky with his family when he was young, listening to his mom tell him stories about the constellations with the scent of his family surrounding him, making him feel safe.  After the fire, he never thought he’d feel like that again. But then he did._

_It took a few years after he met Scott for him to realize just what Scott could be to him. When he realized that, it wasn’t long before he realized that he’d loved the younger man. And then it took nearly another year before Stiles, Scott’s annoyingly persistent best friend, managed to dig his claws into Scott far enough that Scott made the first move. After that, it didn’t take long at all before the two of them to become inseparable and fall stupidly, madly in love. And it was beautiful. Their love, their relationship, their life. It was amazing. And now, Derek got to lay under the stars with the love of us life, wrapped up in the scent of love and family, and tell the same stories his mother told him to Scott. His life was perfect._

Derek woke up like a shot, gasping for breath and clutching at empty air. His vision was blurry and it took him a moment to realize that it was because there were tears in his eyes. He let out a choked off sob as he looked down and realized that the thing he’d been clutching was a pillow, not Scott. It would never be Scott. Never again.

Derek pushed his hands across his face, wiping his tears away and running his hands through his hair, longer than he’d ever had it. Scott liked it long. He liked to pull on it when they were in bed together. Now he didn’t have a reason to keep it so long and shaggy but he refused to cut it. He refused to forget Scott. He refused to accept that Scott was gone.

Derek threw himself out of bed, needing to get out of the house. The silence was pressing down on him. Scott’s scent and Scott’s heartbeat and Scott’s voice and Scott’s warm skin against his. All of the things that should be there. The things he’d taken for granted because he never thought that they would get taken away from him. They were gone now and he couldn’t handle the fact that they weren’t there. He needed to get out. Get away.

He didn’t bother with shoes as he ran out of the house, just left in the shorts and tee-shirt he’d been sleeping in. He ran into the forest, not even paying attention to where he was going. He just wanted to get out and away and into the open, away from the memories trying to suffocate him. He’s dreamt of Scott every night since it happened and he doesn’t know if he’d ever be able to go to sleep without remembering with an aching, stabbing, pain in his chest what he couldn’t prevent.

By the time Derek could breathe again and his body was starting to hurt from both the emotional pain he was constantly in and the physical pain of pushing his body to its limits, he’d lost himself amongst the trees. He looked around for a moment to try and get his bearings and he let out a choked off sound of pain when he recognized the gnarled old tree on the edge of the path. If he walks just a few feet forward, he’ll be able to see the big stained rock where it happened.

_“Scott!” Derek screamed across the fight, reaching towards his boyfriend as he watched the witch step up behind him. Derek was too far away to stop it and Scott was too focused on Derek facing off with the witches near him to hear the one behind him. Derek watched as it happened. Everything seemed to stop as the metal tip pushed through Scott’s chest, covered with the bright red of his boyfriend’s blood. Scott’s mouth was opened in shock and pain and a drop of blood rolled out and down his chin._

_The witch pulled the sword out and Scott crumpled to the ground, no longer able to hold himself up._

_Derek saw red as rage filled his blood. He heard a furious roar of anger and pain and hatred and it wasn’t until later that he realized that that roar had been him. His memories blurred after that and only cleared away with the witches being dead, Stiles and Lydia were shouting orders to the other betas, and Scott was still where he had fallen. Derek ran to his boyfriend’s side, falling to his knees and pulling Scott’s head into his lap._

_“Scott?” Derek’s voice broke._

_“Hey babe.” Scott’s voice was weak but Derek’s heart and hope soared at the sound of it. Maybe this would be okay. Maybe everything would be okay._

_“Don’t leave me.” Derek begged. “Please don’t leave me. Please. I can’t lose you.”_

_Scott smiled up at him, weak but still bright. “It’s okay, Der. It’s not like I’m gonna die, right? We’re getting married, remember? Just as soon as we buy rings.”_

_Derek smiled through the tears on his face and nodded. “We’ll go tomorrow. We’ll buy them tomorrow and go to the courthouse and just get married. We don’t need to make a big deal about it. Just us.”_

_“That sounds nice.” Scott whispered. “We need witnesses.”_

_“Stiles and Lydia.” Derek told him. “They’d kill us if we took anyone else.”_

_Scott tried to laugh but just ended up coughing on his own blood. Derek rubbed his chest and tried to do what he could to help but it was over quickly and Scott smiled at him. “You’re probably right.”_

_“Of course I’m right. I’m always right.”_

_“That you are.”_

_“Well then don’t make me a liar, okay? You’ll survive. You need to survive.”_

_“I don’t know if I can do that.” Scott admitted, his breathing growing labored._

_Derek could hear Stiles and Lydia standing nearby and the betas a polite distance away but he didn’t care. All of his focus was on Scott. “You’re going to survive.” He said firmly, tears thickening his voice. “I know you will.”_

_Scott smiled and then his body shook as his chest was wracked with coughs._

_Derek fussed over him, trying to do what he could to help, and eventually settled on grabbing Scott’s neck and trying to draw pain to make it easier on Scott, but he didn’t find any. “I can’t draw your pain.” Derek gasped through his tears._

_Scott smiled. “That’s because it doesn’t hurt.”_

_A sob tore its way out of Derek’s chest. “Don’t. Please. Don’t leave me alone again.”_

_Scott didn’t answer this time, his smile still in place as his eyes glazed over and the last, rasping breath escaped his lips. The clearing sounded with one less heartbeat now._

_Derek screamed. “No! NO!”_

_He felt hands on his back and recognized the scent as Stiles and Lydia, but all he could think about was that they were trying to pull him away from Scott and he couldn’t let that happen. Eventually the pulling stopped and the hands just sat on his shoulders and backs, trying to send as much comfort into him as he could._

_“Scott.” He heard. Stiles’s voice was broken and Derek remembered that he didn’t just lose the love of his life, Stiles lost his best friend as well._

_“Don’t.” Derek begged. “Please.”_

_“Let him.” Lydia whispered. “It needs to be done.”_

_Derek didn’t respond, just sobbed silently._

_Stiles took a deep, shaky breath before speaking again. “Scott McCall, Alpha, lover, brother, and best friend, we honor you. And together, we say goodbye.” Stiles’s voice broke at the end but it was done._

_All the betas took their cue and turned their heads towards the sky, letting out a long, mournful howl as they said goodbye to the only Alpha many of them had ever known._

_Stiles and Lydia turned their faces up as well, their eyes glowing as they released sparks of power into the sky, saying goodbye as well._

_Derek stayed quiet, refusing to join into the howl. To join the howl would be to say goodbye and he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t say goodbye because that would mean that Scott was gone and he wasn’t coming back and Derek couldn’t believe that. He couldn’t. He didn’t want to be alone again._

Derek shook himself out of his memories, wiping away the fresh tears on his face. He couldn’t go there. Not yet. He couldn’t go there and see the spot where Scott died in his arms. He couldn’t do it yet. Instead, he turned on his heel and took off again, getting away from the spot before just collapsing to the ground and letting out the sobs he’d been holding back. People told him it would stop hurting. John had told him that sometimes you lose the one you love and it hurts like hell but it gets better. It wasn’t getting better. If anything, the pain was getting worse. Scott’s scent faded from the house and it was already only a trace of what it was and Derek knew that one day he’d take a sniff and Scott’s scent wouldn’t be there anymore and that hurt. Scott’s scent was fading from the house and his voice was fading from Derek’s mind and the feel of his hands were fading from his skin but the worst part of everything was that Derek hadn’t even been able to bury Scott with a ring on his finger because they’d never gotten married and they’d never bought rings and Derek didn’t think he’d ever regret anything as much as he regretted not marrying Scott a long time ago.

Derek didn’t notice time passing but it must’ve because the next thing he knew Stiles and Lydia were grabbing his shoulders and shouting his name.

“Derek!” Stiles shouted. “Derek can you hear me?”

“Derek, we need you to answer us!” Lydia added.

Derek rolled his head to look at her. “I can’t do this.” He told her, his voice broken and torn from the tears it went through.

“Yes you can.” Lydia told him firmly. “You’re the Alpha now Derek. The betas need you. They’re lost without a leader.”

“I am no Alpha.” Derek told her. “Scott is the Alpha.”

“Scott’s gone.” Stiles whispered, his voice breaking at the declaration. “I hate it just as much as you, but it’s true. Scott died. We all mourn him and we always will but there are more witches coming to avenge the ones we killed and we need a leader.”

“You can lead them.” Derek told him. “I’m not fit to lead anyone.”

Stiles moved around and crouched in front of Derek. “Derek James Hale, you get up right the fuck now. You need to snap out of this right now because this is not what Scott would want. Scott would never _ever_ have wished this amount of pain on anyone, especially you. But he didn’t exactly have a choice and we need to deal with what happened. You’re not alone. You haven’t been alone since this pack became a pack and that only intensified when you and Scott got your heads out of your asses and got together. His death didn’t just hurt you. It hurt _all_ of us. He was my _best friend_ and he’s _gone_. He was torn away from me just as horribly as he was torn away from you but we _can’t change it_. The past is set in stone, Derek. We have no choice but to go on and deal with it. This will never stop hurting but together we can make it hurt just a little less. But you need to let us help you. You need to let us in.”

Derek looked at Stiles, seeing the tears on his face and hearing the pain in his voice. He knew Stiles was right, that Scott wouldn’t want this, but somehow that only made him hurt more because Scott was dead and he couldn’t even do what Scott would want. He was a failure.

There was a sharp sting across hi face and it took a moment to realize Lydia had slapped him.

“Stop it.” She spat at him, tears in her eyes blurring her perfect winged eyeliner. “Stop beating yourself up about it. It’s been four months, Derek. He’s gone. I know it hurts, but it’s time to start putting yourself back together, okay?”

Derek looked at her, tears bright in his eyes. “I don’t want to forget him.”

“You won’t.” Lydia assured him. “None of us will. Scott touched all of us in ways we will never be rid of. He was amazing and wonderful and we will all miss him. Together. You just need to let us back in.”

“I can’t.” Derek’s voice broke. “Everyone I love dies. All of them. Paige. My family. My sister. Scott.” Derek’s voice broke off saying his boyfriend’s name and he sobbed in pain. “They’re all dead because they loved me and I loved them and now they’re gone. I’m no good. To anyone.”

“Don’t you dare.” Stiles spat at him. “Don’t you dare even think about thinking that. My best friend loved you with everything he had, and that means something. He saw your worth and he loved you for it. He died loving you and you will probably always love him but it’s time to let go Derek. He’s gone. He’s never coming back.”

“Then neither am I.” Derek told him. “I am nothing without him. I may as well have died with him for all I’m worth now. There’s nothing left for me in this life. Nothing.”


End file.
